Am alive and doing well.

Sums up my life.

Check back later and maybe there will be more.

Went to one of the local NaNoWriMo kick off events.  It was pretty much like I expected it would be.  Spoke to some local participants.  One did win last year and her book is going to be published June of '10.  So that was cool.  Found many like me, have done it for many years but haven't won/finished.  My goal is to win and finish so am hoping going to these weekly write-ins will help.

So now to re-look at my plot, make some possible changes and get ready for November to start.

Go Me!

So I moved, long story but a good one I hope, and because of my move, the girls started a new school today.  Their new school is just down the street and more important, they, the girls, get to use the tunnel to cross the major street and to them that is the more exciting then starting a new school.  The tunnel is so they don't have to cross said busy street if they don't want to.  There are crossing guards in the tunnel, that made me as a mom feel better, and the girls loved hearing the cars crossing overhead.

We got to school early so they can eat breakfast, feel a bit more comfortable and then we walked to class.  Meredith was all excited, and Zoe was shy and quiet.  After seeing them settling in I left and just hoped they have a good day.  The girls didn't seem scared just nervous and excited.   I know  I'll hear about  it all night when they get home from school.  I can hardly wait.  I can't wait to hear how they liked their new school.

I'll keep you all posted.

Ok, every year I start  and every year I fin some sort of excuse not to finish. Here are my past excuses

• 2006: fell down the stairs in October of that year and found writing hard when on vicodin.  (reread my writings and was like "Huh what was I trying to say? Nothing makes sense.")
• 2007: was going through a divorce, enough said
• 2008: started new relationship and got caught up in that

This year I have plenty of going and  am starting now to plan on what I'm going to write about, even going to plot it out chapter wise if possible.  I have an idea in my head, part of my dream last night so lets see how well I remember it.  There is also a local group who has already emailed me and if I play my cards right I can go to their sessions to help get the writing juices flowing.

So here's to me, here's to my writing and here's to no excuses! 

I just got back from seeing my new doctor, Dr. Missy Boyles, or Dr. Missy and I love her. She listened to me, took my concerns to heart, or at least appeared to, and was just generally awesome. She did an ultrasound and we got to see the baby much better then the last ultrasound. I saw the heartbeat, see the baby move and see the skull, spine and other bones. We do sort of know the sex, Dr. Missy isn't 100% sure of the sex though. The baby was rather shy, which with Daniel and I as parents I'm sure that won't last long. And after I discuss with Daniel on whether or not we are telling people, I'll either let you know or you will have to wait ha ha ha ha!!!

And my weight gain is 139 lbs so that is good too. I may actually get to look pregnant with this pregnancy!

Now for some other new news:

1. Dr. Missy noticed the baby was small and after taking some measurements, believes my due date of February 25, 2010 is off by 8 days. She is going to run some numbers so I'll keep you posted on that change. This means instead of being near 20 weeks I'm more like 18.

2. My pap smear that has had me worried because of the high level of Atypical Squamous Cells of Undetermined Significance (ASCUS) is still going to be monitored. She is going to do another colposcoy at week 30 and then after baby is born will do a LEEP as needed. Dr. Missy was very informative of this and assured me that it's normal and not to worry.

3. Upon closer inspection of my uterus through the ultrasound Dr. Missy noticed that my placenta is low lying and near the cervix, and is just a bit concerned about that. So tomorrow I get to call and scheduled a more in depth ultrasound at the prenatal center a few floors below. Another new worry but nothing to be concerned about just right now, just am going to keep an eye on it.

4. The lump we found in my breast last weekend is most likely benign or my breast getting ready to form and make milk. If it starts to get bigger or hurt, call and let her know. Otherwise just keep an eye on it.

So besides all this, I'm healthy, gaining some weight and doing overall splendid!

Yesterday I had my colposcopy and learned what my very abnormal pap smear was.  There are three levels of abnormal cells, low, medium and high.  High is bad and that is why they did the colposcopy.  Since it was high the Dr., who was much more informant then the nurse on the phone, said he would most likely do a biopsy today.  However; after the test, which went well, YAY, he didn't need to do the biopsy but did want to repeat the colposcopy at week 30 of my pregnancy.  He also mentioned that after the baby is born they want to go in and remove all the bad cells with a LEED machine, am going to google that procedure here after note is written, to see what that entails.

So basically not good news bad not bad news either.  More waiting and seeing and more test, but hey.  I'm not going to worry until I hear more scary words.

Now for some good news.  I gain 7 lbs since the Ultrasound so now at 18 weeks I weigh 129.4 lbs.

And I did change doctors, so I need to tell this information to my new doctor, Missy Boyles, can't remember the practice name, on my next dr. apt on October 7th.

RIP Patrick Swayze...you shall be missed my dear man.

Here's a sneak peak at the new blur...I mean baby.



If you are talented, you can see almost two hands and part of both legs.

Happy Birthday kissmybahookie !

And Wil Wheaton!

Jessica.  Eat a Surly Girl cupcake and have a good one.

I hope I can make it.

This is full of sad and win.

Must send an emailing saying how awesome it is to Pixar.

Well my new husband complete with new family is looking for a place to live.  There is so much to think about, so much to decide, so much to get in not much time at all. 

We might have found the perfect place, it's a house right by where I work, where virgilsego  is going to start working tonight, and the rent is less then what we are paying now, but more then we would like.  We still can afford it.  Just if it was slightly cheaper it would be more then perfect it would be wonderful.  It is also a house with a huge back yard, a front yard, parking in back and a nice quiet street.  We have our application in and am now just waiting to hear back from them.  The fixtures in the house are so amazing and the master bedroom has a sky light in in and the bath room has a claw foot tub!!!!!!  And central air.

We are looking at other places because just because we love this one place doesn't mean they will love us back.  Or we might find a house that is just as good and cheaper that we may not LOVE but sort of love and then decide which is best, cost effectiveness and all that.  So we are keeping our fingers crossed that we find something, especially the place we love.

Then virgilsego is starting a new job tonight, same company if you can call it that, that I work at.  So I may move from the store I love to the store I don't love because couples can't work together.  I know the reason for this but it still sucks cause I love where I work and I like the fact I work alone and I like my customer base.  The other stuff, the customer base annoys me so.

So I have more to write but no more time.

I'll catch up more later.

Sigh I haven't been up to much later but need to post some more.

Work has been hard on me, I've been sick the past week and a half.  Got some antibiotics and have been feeling better the past two days.  I went to my first Marcon a week and a half ago.  I must go next year but need to bring the husband, virgilsego with me.

I think that is about it.

Of course as soon as I close this down I'll think of more stuff to post.

Oh I got a movie to watch and halfway through it, it switched from English to Russian so what gives.  Guess I better get a different copy of it.

Oh and I'm moving, same city just new location.  As soon as the hubby and I can find a place we can afford and fit our new family of two adults and 5 children.

To all those looking for jobs, I hope you can find them.  I'm rooting for you here in OH.

Much love to you all.

Ugh I started getting sick last Sunday.  I thought it was just a little cold, now I'm full blown sick and hating every minute of it.  First I lost my voice, I have part of it back, then came the cough and now the sore throat and all this coughing.  Ugh I hate it.

I'm just glad I don't work this weekend so I can rest and get better.

And the fact I have awesome kids, two are currently cleaning up the front porch.  I have no clue why.  Just cute and funny.

I got married!  Really spur of the moment and not really planned.  He proposed Sunday night at the Grandview Cafe and then bam got married at the Columbus Wedding Service Chapel or the closest thing to Vegas Columbus has.

Still can't believe I did it, but I did.

Now I have a husband, three children, two step children, a dog I'm allergic to, a cat who slept with me last night, a cat at my mom's house I need to move, two hamsters and am loving it all.

I'll post pictures soon.

Many times over you asked me if I can be yours.

Your Partner,

Your life,

Your love,

Your all.

Many times over I said yes, giving you the words you wanted to hear.

Yet not meaning them.

I wanted to be yours for you, but not for me.

I wanted your love, but didn’t give you mine in return.

I locked myself up tight, not letting you in.

I took all you gave and threw it in your face.

And when I realized what I had lost,

 I felt for the first time what you meant when you said

Be my partner,

Be my life,

Be your love,

Be your all.

Now with your forgiveness I can say the words back.

You have the right to not believe me.

You have the right to not trust me.

I lost that all when I betrayed you.

I need to say them,

To say them to you. 

To tell you I want it.

For me,

For you,

For us,

For our children.

You are my partner,

You are my life,

You are my love.

And lastly…..

You are my all.

 

I lay it all before you, stripped bare, my heart in my hands in front of you,

Asking for you to take it and make me yours.

 

Your all.